Friends

So Doug's been out of town this week and it's given me a quiet house and lots of free time to think. Think about random stuff that you normally don't think about because you are busy with a million other things. I've been thinking about my friends. It seems like when you are little, EVERYONE is your friend. You sit by them at reading time, or share your crayons with them and suddenly they are your BEST friend. No questions asked. Then you grow up a little, and you get more picky. You look for qualities you didn't know existed when you were sharing your crayons. You want someone who is trustworthy, or kind, or a good listener. But you also have your reputation at stake (middle school, high school... c'mon we were all there) and you maybe blow off people you were friends with before because maybe they aren't going to get you in with the popular crowd, or help you get to know so-and-so better. Or maybe you're the person who is friends with EVERYONE, no matter who they are, you had tons of friends. Or maybe you were the one who had a close circle of friends, you were nice to everyone, but you were known to always be with those certain few people. You think as you go off to college those friendships are going to last forever! But then as you pick a major, or get on a different school track and you see them less and less, and suddnely, you are where I am today. Almost 25 years old, and with no friends, only acquaintances.

I realized it. Every friendship I cherished so strongly just a few years ago has morphed into that dreaded acquaintance. You say hi here and there when you see them on Facebook or online, but that's it. You don't know where they live, you don't know what they're doing, and you start to wonder... how did it get this way? How did I get to be such a bad friend that I lost my friends? And you think, I should have emailed more, I should have made more of an effort, I should have called more, but in the end it's like, would that have changed anything? Or is this just how life is? Is this just how it happens when you grow up, get married and start your own adult life? Is this part of growing up? Losing your friends? and if so, why didn't anyone ever tell me that? I miss my friends.

So maybe it's too late, or maybe it's a lost cause, I but I want those of you who read this blog and think of me as your acquaintance to know how much I love you, and truly cherish what you have been in my life. I know we are all spread out all over the country, but for what it's worth, you always have my friendship, and I will make so much more of an effort to be more than just your acquaintance! Because no matter how old you get, you always need friends!